How to Marginally Succeed at Covid-Induced Homeschool

As of Friday, we officially logged our third week of covid-induced homeschool. Maybe you’re right about there with me…welcome.

With a full 14 days under my belt- I’m feeling confidently uncertain- which makes me the best possible person to teach others how to marginally succeed at homeschooling as well.

Here’s the lessons I’ve learned so far:

1. You always want to take the “average” of the cumulative criticism and praise of your children. (And throw out the extreme outliers.)
   
   It’s all very mathematical. I’m learning that one day my son will say something adorably sweet and kind like, “We’re really lucky to have you as a teacher, aren’t we, Mom?” And another day he’ll say something angsty and button-pushing like, “I hate you and you never listen to me.”
   
   So I just average the comments, and come out somewhere in the range of “Unremarkably OK teaching parent.” (Which I am unremarkably OK with.)
   
2. It behooves you to homeschool children who already know everything there is to know.
   
   Thankfully, I’ve got at least one of three who really don’t need to be taught anything new.

3. Yellow cake mix is a valid school supply for ancient Egyptian history. (Or Really any subject.)

4: Eating counts as learning.

This week my 4th grader was learning about sea food maps, and how states along the coast have access to fresher seafood. We decided to try out a shoreline seafood place as “part of school”. (I was quite pleased with myself for manipulating a guilt-free opportunity to eat one of my favorite cuisines.)

On our drive to the restaurant, I felt confident that we were making tremendous academic progress. I beamed as my son explained to his siblings how we were getting “really fresh seafood.”

Then my younger son replied, “Ooooh, like chicken!”

OK…so Rome wasn’t built in a day.

We also attempted a verrrrry loosely academic based “rice crispy treats war”. I’m counting it.

5: When goal setting, sometimes it’s best to set a few goals you’ve already attained.

My son gets this: When asked to set a goal for what he wants to do or be this year, he wrote “Hug my bee.” His bee happens to be a stuffed animal that he already cuddles with multiple times a day. (Goal set and achieved. Well played, Child.)

6: Don’t be afraid to delegate.

This year I’m incredibly grateful for the friends and family that have come alongside me to help. My mother-in-law has been invaluable, offering to come out multiple days a week to help with math. And my mother and friends and sibs are volunteering (or being volunteered) for reading sessions, weather and art lessons. (YAY FOR ME!)

Now if I could just delegate the cleaning…

7: If all else fails, let your child make a campfire.

Yes…the other day we weren’t off to a very motivated start, so I let the kids make a little bonfire and do school outside. (And yes, for extra incentive, I told me son he could attempt to make his own torch, pending safety precautions.)

8: Bribery is the best policy. (Sorry to disagree with you, Mr. Franklin.)

From bribing my son with a single chocolate chip for each completed task on his worksheet (I still can’t believe that worked!?) to letting my kids work together to earn a family mini-golf outing- we’ve got bribery (shamelessly) in the bag.

9: Know your exits.

On a plane you’re always told to “know where the exits near your seat are”. And friends…if you’re a homeschool parent…you need to know where the exits nearest you are. Sometimes that means literally knowing where to go for a few minutes of peace and quiet when you (the adult) have hit a wall. (The bathroom is still my go-to hiding place.) Sometimes knowing your nearest exit means knowing when to call it quits a little early when the child mutiny is in overdrive.

10: Sometimes it takes a little bunny poop to get your kids to do math.

Sometimes you just have to work with what makes your kid tick. In this case, my 1st grader was flopping helplessly, refusing to make eye contact with his math book until he made a discovery: the bunny in the math equation had pooped. My son and I shared a giggle and suddenly math wasn’t so bad.

What about YOU? Are you a school teacher or homeschool teacher with some tips and resources to share with the rest of us?? Or maybe you’re remote learning and have some wisdom for what works for your family. From websites to tricks, I’d love to hear what you are doing to (more than) marginally succeed at teaching your kids this year!