Especially Coming From You… (Owning the Power of Your Influence)

The other day I texted a positive comment to a good friend I haven’t seen in awhile. She immediately texted back, and her response made my brain trip over itself for a moment. You know those moments where someone says something simple that unlocks a profound realization that has been sitting, rather awkwardly, on your nose this whole time?

She simply thanked me and said, “That means a lot, especially coming from you.”

I had to re-read it. “Especially coming from you…”

What? Wait- that’s not me. I’m not an “especially coming from you” person.

I know “especially coming from you…” people. We all have them. It’s the people in our lives whose affirmation, text message, invitation to hang out or thoughtful gift means a little EXTRA to us.

Maybe we know they are really busy, so their text or email feels like an extra gift of time from them. Maybe they have a charismatic personality and everyone is looking to them for time, validation or approval; we get a little excited when we are noticed in the crowd. Maybe we really respect them, so a compliment or validation from THEM feels like their way of identifying with us. Perhaps it is someone we have long wished to connect with, and their act of reaching out feels a little extra precious to us.

I can think of those people in my life. But it never occurred to me that I might be an “especially coming from you” person too. It never dawned on me that there might be people for whom a text, letter, or invitation from ME might feel significant. I just hadn’t thought of it that way.

But this wasn’t a personal ego-boost moment really- it actually ushered in the powerful realization that ALL of us are “especially coming from you” people. For each one of us, there is someone that looks up to us, or considers our time extra valuable, or is waiting for us to stop and see them.

If you’re like me, sometimes we cannot see ourselves as an influencer, a world-shaper, or even someone others look up to or desire to hear from. But this feeling keeps us small, focused on our perceived lack, and stuck in comparison with others who are OUR “especially from you” people. When we are constantly looking at what we are NOT, we cannot see the things God says we ARE.

Especially coming through Covid, I have found myself caught up in a victim mentality at times which asks, “Who is reaching out to ME? Who cares about what I am going through?” It’s easy to become isolated and turn inward, which deflates our sense of identity and distorts our view of community. The longer we wait for others to reach out, the less we view ourselves as out-reachers too.

But what if we realized the power of being an “especially from you” person to others? How might this pull us out of ourselves and into the beauty of give and take in relationship again? Truly, we are all connected in a web; it isn’t a hierarchy where some have the power to bestow importance and others simply hold out their hands waiting to be seen. We are all givers and receivers in this web of validation, encouragement and relationship.

(Side note: Perhaps the people that we think of as “especially from you” people are some of the ones who most need someone reaching into their life to lift them up too!)

As you think through this in your own life, consider these questions:

1: Who are the “especially coming from you” people in your life? Is it a parent, boss, friend, co-worker?

2: What makes this person’s time, validation, etc. especially important to you?

3: Who do you think YOU might be an “especially coming from you” person for? Think of your kids, parents, friends, acquaintances, etc. It doesn’t have to be someone who worships the ground you walk on- but someone who would feel a special weight in hearing from you, who looks up to you, or who doesn’t get to see you often.

(And if you struggle to think of anyone- it may be that you are like me and need someone to make your brain trip a little too. For now…trust me…you matter deeply and you have the power to positively influence those around you. And if you pray, I believe God will show you someone you influence that you may not have expected.)

4: What does it look like for you to reach out to some of your people from answer three this week? What would mean most from each person? A note? A gift of time? Perhaps a short phone call or email, or even a surprise gift at their door? Consider your own responses from answer two- the things that are meaningful to you might be a good place to start with others. Ask God to show you how you can be a light and influence for those around you.

I hope as you experiment with this that you’ll share some of your journey with the rest of us here! Let’s begin this new year with a fresh sense that God is calling us all to speak into even the one or two around us right now. We are image bearers and we’re called to speak life and give up for others as Christ gave up for us. I’ll see you again in 2021 friends!!

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.5 In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: 6 Who, being in very nature[a] God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; 7 rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.

Philippian 2:1-7

New International Version (NIV)
Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.