Does God Want Me to Be “A Little Less Like Me”?

I’m starting to pay attention to my “Christian triggers”- those moments when a phrase, or ism, or t-shirt from that ever-vague “Christian culture” catches on my soul like rough wood, leaving a splinter I can’t ignore.

Yesterday I had such a trigger moment, listening to a perfectly good worship song by Zach Williams, “Less Like Me”. His chorus goes like this:

“Oh Lord, help me be…A little more like mercy, a little more like grace
A little more like kindness, goodness, love, and faith
A little more like patience, a little more like peace
A little more like Jesus, a little less like me“

Source: https://songtexte.co/en/zach-williams-less-like-me-lyrics-727c1a

And I completely agree with the heart of the song- what we desperately need is to become more and more like the image and heart of our Maker. More like Jesus.

But my trigger came with the line, “A little less like me.”

See…much of my life I have found it easy to believe God “loved” me- but I’ve had a gnawing feeling that He didn’t necessarily “like” me.

There’s this broken picture we have of a God who loves us because He has to- because He made us, after all, but mostly because Jesus died for us so that we are no longer seen in our sin and brokenness.

I would read verses like Romans 3:10-12 that said there’s no one righteous and no one who does good, or Isaiah 64:6 which says even our righteous acts (what we think is righteous) are like filthy rags. And I didn’t quite know what it said about my identity.

There is an appropriate need for us to see our sin- to own the selfishness and corruption that our hearts tend towards. We must see the massive chasm between God’s perfection and our human nature if we are to understand our vast need for God. And it is imperative that we realize our inability to achieve justice, peace, and God’s Kingdom on earth WITHOUT Him.

But this idea of sinfulness I believe has crept beyond its intended boundaries, in some ways undermining the core of our identity in God. (Oh, how the enemy enjoys injecting a little lie in our truth.)

I have had this often unspoken fear in my heart that my lack of righteousness also meant I had nothing loveable in me. If becoming more like Jesus means becoming less and less like ME, then who I am (my personality, my desires, my very being) must not be GOOD or even OK.

This leads me to believe that God tolerates who I really am, as He waits for me to be more like Jesus, who I will never fully emulate. It makes me question why God made humans to begin with.

I believe to know the depth of God’s love we have to be able to see ourselves the way He sees us. And does He really want me to be less like ME?

It makes me think of a conversation I had a few nights ago my husband: He said he loved me and I wistfully replied, “I know that you love me…sometimes I need to be reminded why.” And my gracious husband began sharing the things about me that he admires and loves. That man knows I’m a wreck at times- his love didn’t pretend I was perfect or didn’t need to change at all. But I was encouraged to know that He enjoyed good things about me.

But what if he told me, “Well- to be honest, there’s not much there to love. Nothing really good about you comes to mind. But don’t worry, I love you because you’re my wife.”

I would feel ashamed and sad- I would believe that love must be about duty, not joy or pleasure. I would believe I am someone to put up with, not someone to cherish.

Yet this is how I have often felt about God- that He truly can find nothing in me that He likes or delights in. And that feels painful- it makes me not want to bring all of who I am to God. It perpetuates the belief that God doesn’t want my presence or relationship- just my obedience.

But what if God actually does like me? In fact, what if the God who knit me in my mother’s womb and prepared good works for me before I was born and who created man and woman for Himself- what if that God actually ENJOYS who I am and who you are?

Recently as I was praying over our foster-adoption process, God whispered a truth in my ear. With two boys and a girl at home already, I confess we are praying for a girl to bring balance to the family. 😉 And I felt that Jesus said to me that just as I am jumping over hoops and obstacles to receive this precious girl, so He is earnestly seeking me. I believe He said,

“Carrye, just as you are fighting for a little girl, to have as a daughter, so I have fought to adopt you. Because I want to, not because I have to.”

And this is true of each of us. He wants us and fights for us as sons and daughters. He wants us to rest in the knowledge that we are both seen completely AND loved intensely. And further, I believe He delights in WHO we are.

I frequently marvel at the sheer number of different personalities in the world. Even if you don’t believe in Enneagram numbers or Meyers Briggs results, it’s clear that none of us is made quite the same. At times, I admit someone with a different personality will rub me the wrong way or mystify me- and yet I find myself thinking, “God MADE that person on purpose. God LIKES that personality just as He likes mine- because it is by design.”

In the mystery of who God is, I believe each of us reflect a different piece of His own personality- that none of us is “too much” for God. That no personality is better or worse. And as Paul says, these personalities also speak to our gifts and abilities which we each must bring fully to the body of Christ.

So are we meant to be more like Jesus? Yes- 100%. And where that means giving up our selfish or human NATURE, then yes…there are things in our lives that need to go, broken desires that need to be shifted, and harmful baggage we need to relinquish. We need a transformation that only Christ can fulfill in us.

But let us not assume that becoming “less like me” means that God wants to remove our personality or even all of our desires. Let us understand that God is a Good Creator, and when He saw what He made He said, “It is GOOD.” When we are infused with the Spirit and the character of Christ, He simply takes all of the good things He already made in us and amplifies them for His Kingdom purposes.

You and I are loveable to God. And this doesn’t mean we earn His love. It doesn’t mean He likes us for all the “good works” we do. It doesn’t mean we are righteous in ourselves.

But it means that He designed us for a reason- He instills good pieces of Himself in each person- He sees the beauty that we represent and He doesn’t want to wipe our personality and desires completely away- He wants us to see His fingerprints all over our personality, embrace the way He’s wired us, and rise into the fullness of how HE sees us.

And when we feel the fullness of God’s joy over us- I believe we are free to love Him more abundantly in response.