Covid Confessions from a Stay at Home Mom

I just need to vent about the sheer ridiculousness that is my life most days.

Not a whole lot has changed between March and July, except that I’m definitely getting in touch with my introvert side. On the rare days that I do have the potential for social visits, I have to muster nonexistent reserves of energy. “People? Remind me again what I’m supposed to DO around you?”

When I’m out filling up the van with gas or picking up the umpteenth corona pizza for our family, I find my masked social interactions get me into trouble anyway. Recently I tried to make small talk with a woman who said she had just flown in from TN. I said I was originally from Chattanooga- and she leaned towards me, (no mask on), and said, “Huh?”

CHATTANOOGA!!

Ahem. Welcome to CT. I hope you didn’t bring any Corona souvenirs with you.

(Which reminds me- my kids have picked up on the latest “Corona” beer commercials and all agree that no one would want to buy that now. We’ll see if that sticks.)

Then I’m trying to get all my doctor essentials out of the way over the summer while our cases are low, so I’ve been to get bloodwork and of course to the dentist because I was a good year overdue. Apparently I have cavities UNDER my old silver fillings- which the dental hygienist said is common when silver fillings are old.

Definitely feels like a lemon juice in paper cut situation: “Here, let’s give you these unsightly silver fillings to fix your childhood cavities- and with any luck, in 15 years some future dentist can profit from round two of cavities when these suckers start deteriorating.”

Thanks for that.

However, my hygienist praised me for my ability to bite down correctly for the x-rays. “Normally I have to retake several of these for patients because they can’t do it right the first time. You should be proud! We have to celebrate the little things!” She said, in her cute, Type A, optimistic way.

I liked her. I did feel proud. No shame here.

Usually I’m most proud of the days when I finish hand-washing every last dish in the kitchen before the clock rolls into midnight. I get pretty close sometimes, and then some schmuck comes in with a late night snack and ruins it for me. (OK. Usually I’m the schmuck.)

Speaking of schmucks, apparently I posted a blog recently where I said my son wanted to homeschool- and I mentally replied, “When pigs fly.” Well, my friends…apparently pigs have flown because with all the crazy school Covid nonsense, I’ve decided to homeschool my kids this fall.

I mentioned this to our social worker, since we are now licensed and waiting for calls for foster children. (Infants most likely). She apparently recalled with vivid detail how I said homeschooling was NOT good for me in the past. I would counter argue that, if we’re being honest, NONE of the options ahead of us for schooling are what I would call “good for me.”

Good for me doesn’t include chaotic drop offs of 3 children to 3 different schools every morning, after spending the better part of the morning determining if my middle child is ACTUALLY sick or just saying he feels bad to get out of school. Good for me doesn’t include worrying daily over whether my six year old has the fantastic idea to switch masks with his buddy behind some plastic shield. Good for me doesn’t also doesn’t include getting 20+ emails daily from assorted teachers and special educators who are trying to keep me updated on assignments, bitmoji encouragements, work reminders and feedback.

So is homeschool “good for me”? Meh. It could be a lot worse.

And while I admit that having a break from school over the summer has been nice, trying to do fun things for the kids seems to backfire most days. Just yesterday I took them to the river to play with their cousin and a friend, and at one point one child was completely ignoring me, another child said they hated me (because I wouldn’t let their friend come home with us) and as I was trying to rally them all to the van, my youngest admitted what I feared- that he had pooped in his pants in the river.

Needless to say it was a long ride home.

However, maybe good will come out of it, because my nine year old suggested after that series of unfortunate events that we “have a family meeting and talk about what stresses us.” (Good God- Covid has turned my child into a budding family therapist.)

This may come in handy, because our youngest has started laughing hysterically at fighting scenes in action or superhero movies we watch as a family. I’m not certain, but I think there might be some psychological term for that. Maybe we need to backtrack a little. (The baby always gets to watch way more than the older sibs!)

Hopefully this family meeting is in person- because lately my boys have taken to calling me on FB messenger or Google meeting- and it takes me back to my early AOL instant messenger days when I had all of 2 friends and would stare at the screen waiting for the door opening sound to alert me that someone was on.

Most days we just stay home, and I get my exercise walking up and down the driveway multiple times a day to check the mail. It’s nice that our driveway is so long. (Gotta get my steps in.)

And I spend my day trying to keep more air in the fridge than out- (every 3 minutes a different family member just opens up the fridge and sits there waiting for food to emerge and fill the void of boredom.) I also find myself cleaning up after things like slime, and whatever experiment this was supposed to be.

That’s all for now- I would share more but it seems I’m mostly half-finishing things this Covid season and I hate to ruin that streak. Here’s hoping you are staying sane and healthy! How is quarantine treating you?