What if God isn’t on MY Side? Dissecting One Danger of Evangelical Culture

As a “pastor’s kid” for most of my life, I was bubble wrapped pretty snugly in protestant church culture long before I could say “Bible”. In many ways my childhood was idyllic, and I’m grateful for the foundation laid then that started me on a journey to find and feel God in tangible ways.

But, even in a culture that brings life and hope and faith, there are always good things that get twisted or negative things that go undetected. (I wrote my first book, Gray Faith, around that idea.)

One aspect of Christian culture that I’ve struggled with as an adult is “evangelism”, which is defined as: “The spreading of the Christian gospel by public preaching or personal witness.”

I affirm that we are made to share God with others: this is the heart of the message Jesus left his disciples, (Matthew 28:19-20) and we naturally want others to experience the powerful hope that has changed our lives.

But a couple years ago I heard a woman at a conference who spoke on evangelism in a way that made me cringe, and brings into focus my concerns for where evangelism culture may actually be undermining the gospel.

This Christian recounted a recent plane ride where she started chatting with a stranger in the seat next to her. She felt emboldened to share what she believed about God, and the stranger listened to her story.

But afterwards, the stranger basically said, “That is your truth- let me share what I believe with you.”

The conference speaker’s response to this person was, “No no no- what I’m telling you is THE truth.” You are mistaken. Conversation over.

And though her motivations were pure, what did she accomplish?

I wonder if the church has twisted its healthy zeal for sharing God, creating instead a culture of conversation stopping.

I was raised to believe I should have an an answer for people who disagreed with me. I was supposed to stand on truth and convince people to alter their beliefs. I was supposed to have the last word in the conversation because, of course, I must be right if God was on my side. Right?

The problem is, I was afraid to listen. I was afraid that listening to another story meant I was losing ground. Conversations about faith felt more like a hardcore game of tug-of-war where listening to the other side meant the truth was not being heard- that God was not winning.

Yet a conversation without listening is an oxymoron.

How could I possibly ask someone to contemplate my words when I rejected every single one of theirs?

Have you ever been in a discussion where someone wouldn’t let you say ANYTHING or immediately rejected your comments with their trump card of choice?

Just yesterday my son did that to me- he barrelled through an angry list of injustices, ending the argument by saying he should be homeschooled. (When pigs fly, child.) But every time I tried to respond thoughtfully he got defensive and said, “STOP! Stop it.”

He didn’t want a conversation. He wanted a filibuster.

“Let me tell you all the reasons I’m right…and if you’ve experienced or thought something different, STOP IT! Just stop. I don’t want to hear.”

Yet we do this all the time. I do it. And this doesn’t just play out in the way we talk about Jesus. The church culture I grew up in made me feel that it was dangerous to listen to any other narratives than the one I had experienced. I might research other beliefs and ideas in a purely clinical way, but mostly so that I could refute people’s arguments to my own beliefs.

If someone wasn’t listening to US, we would either make a mic-drop, shut-the-conversation-down comment, or retreat back to the group of people who agreed with us. (Our own church, our own denomination, our own circle of yes-sayers.)

So we gather around us what our itching ears want to hear, and we sit in a stagnant pool of immovable rightness. There’s no one to stir up the water with questions- there’s not one to give us a breeze of perspective- because we are supposed to be the ones with the answers. And if everyone would just agree with our version of the narrative- the world would be saved.

And we’ve come to believe, like the pharisees, that we are never in danger of misunderstanding God. That we are the keepers of the truth so we must mute others to speak.

How often do we mute others in the name of “love”? Other believers. Other denominations. Other women. Other men. Other races and ethnicities. Other beliefs.

What if…

Our narrative is too narrow. (Or as my friend recently said, our God is much BIGGER?) Our small church culture is not THE blueprint for Kingdom culture. An evangelism of love doesn’t need to drown out someone else’s voice to be heard.

Much of our division comes from believing that we are unequivocally on God’s side. But what if His lines aren’t drawn where we think they are? What if, in fact, God is on our side AND the side of the one we’re talking to?

Joshua 5 shares the story of the Israelites on the cusp of entering the land that God had promised them when they left slavery in Egypt forty years prior. Joshua was still fairly new to leading Israel, and as he prepared to take over Jericho, he saw a man walking towards him.

His immediate response was to sum up whose side this guy was on:

Joshua went up to him and asked, “Are you for us or for our enemies?” (vs 13)

Because if you’re on our side, we can trust you- we can accept you. Well, the man turns out to be an angel- and what side is he actually on?

“Neither,” he replied, “but as commander of the army of the Lord I have now come.” (vs 14)

This angel of the Lord had come to encourage Joshuah with a divine message. But God wasn’t there to take human sides- he was there to accomplish HIS plan and HIS promise.

In fact- although I believe God is FOR us- I don’t believe that means he is “on our side” in the way we think. God is on the side of God. And anytime He interracts with humanity He is creating a bridge to Himself- to HIS side. And He extends the bridge of Himself to all of humanity- not simply to the ones sitting in pews on Sunday- not just the ones who fit in our theological boxes- not just the ones in our denomination- not just the ones who pass our moral background check.

He is on THEIR side too. (Whoever “their” is in your mind.)

And because God is on HIS side, and is a bridge to all of us, EVERY interaction He had on earth required Him to listen to views that were human- broken- and often wrong. But what does He do?

He Emmanuels like nobody’s business. He eats with, talks with and LISTENS to others.

• He listened to the woman at the well share about her ancestor Jacob. He asked her questions. (John 4:1-42)
• He ASKS his disciples, “Who do YOU say that I am?” (Matthew 16:13-20)
• He asks the blind man, “What do you want me to do for you?” (Luke 18:35-43)
• He has patience to listen to Nicodemus’s questions. (John 3:1-21)
• He allows the Syrophoenician woman to challenge his response. (Mark 7:24-30)

God so loved the world that he left the safety of His SIDE to bring His side to us. To all of us. And then He tells us to go and do likewise.

I don’t believe we can actually accomplish evangelism without listening. I don’t believe we can emulate the heart of Jesus without truly paying attention to narratives other than our own. And if we wish to move forward, to see the church flourish, to see God’s KINGDOM come on earth as it is in heaven, we need to be reminded that God hasn’t taken our side. In love, He has taken the side of all humanity, to invite us all into His Kingdom. And He asks us to do the same.

Will we listen? Or will we try to convince Him to join our side?

RESPONSE & REFLECTION:

If you grew up in the church, consider how evangelical culture shaped your interactions with those who believe or think differently than you. Do you think this has helped or hindered your conversations with others?

Do you think that God is “on your side” and not on the side of others? Why or why not? What are the implications of that belief on the way you view the world?

What are you most afraid of when people share their differing beliefs with you? What makes you most defensive?

Think of an example of someone who has a different “narrative” (story, background, belief) than you. What would it look like to try to understand that narrative or perspective better? Do you have to change what you believe to understand someone else?

Does listening hinder the Gospel? Why or why not?

All Scripture references taken from: New International Version (NIV)

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