Life Coach
Do you ever feel like you know exactly what you need but have no idea how to get it?
I finally finished reading “Start With Why” by Simon Sinek
I highly recommend this book, if you have any desire to clarify your purpose and vision in life. Though geared somewhat towards entrepreneurs, Sinek’s message rings true for anyone who wants to produce change through a passion, gift, idea or belief.
As he helps you clarify your “why,” you’ll gain a new excitement for what you do and how you do it.
“The excitement is trying to find new ways, different WHATs to bring my cause to life, of which this book is one. Regardless of WHAT we do in our lives, our WHY– our driving purpose, cause or belief– never changes…WHAT we do is simply the tangible way we find to breathe life into that cause.” (Simon Sinek, Start With Why, chapter 8.)
I finished this book so pumped and excited to find my WHY, but it turns out mine is a little elusive. I mean, I’ve tripple checked the dryer AND the back of the fridge and my WHY is clearly lost.
I know I have gifts. I know I have abilities. I can list off my passions like I can list off my children. But I’m uncertain exactly where I’m going.
But, when the going gets tough, the tough…hire a life coach.
That’s right. I never thought I’d do it, but I have the incredible opportunity to hire a life coach to help me understand what my true vision is, how to get there, and what obstacles I need accountability to overcome.
I can’t wait to update you on how my first meeting goes next week. But in the meantime, I’d love to know YOUR advice on life coaches and understanding your vision. If you’ve used a life coach, what advice do you have for getting the most out of your experience? If you haven’t used a life coach but have found helpful tools for understanding and pursuing your vision/purpose, please share with the rest of us!!
How do you balance the importance of having a vision, dreams, and goals for yourself (and the motivation to follow through) with the necessity of holding things with an open hand and trusting that God knows what you need and provides, and that we simply won’t know His plan for us ahead of time?
My initial thoughts were that we aren’t supposed to know what we need and how to get it, we are supposed to trust God to meet our needs daily, and ultimately our purpose is to glorify Him- not something we need to somehow pinpoint . At the same time, it is totally important for leaders to have vision and goals and to create plans- which leads me back to my initial question- how to balance it all.
This post sounded a little too “follow these three simple steps to find happiness and fulfillment!” for me, which I know is not your heart- so I thought I’d open that up for discussion 🙂
Hey! I appreciate the comment and added discussion. YES, you know me, and I’m the last one to promote a three step plan for happy perfect whatever. So if it came off that way, I should clarify.
Some people (like my brother) know at a very young age their passion and how they want to pursue it. Others, like me, might be able to pinpoint their gifts or some passions but have trouble narrowing down their vision so they aren’t chasing 20 different things (ultimately accomplishing very little.) For me, a life coach isn’t about mapping out my life so I can achieve greater GOALS so much as helping me FOCUS my life so I can commit to what’s most important to me and follow through. People see a counselor when they need clarity and advice in their marriage, relationships, personal issues, etc. They need someone to listen and help them take steps to change and live more fully/healthily. For me, I feel like I need that same ear to listen to my heart ramblings and help me narrow down what I’m pursuing so I don’t feel like I’m constantly questioning/ feeling scattered in my purpose.
It’s also hard to define Simon Sinek’s version of “why” in a couple sentences- but for him, it isn’t about a single goal or life ambition either. He says that the things that we do must line up with our deepest beliefs- and if we start doing things out of busyness or because “this is what everyone does” and we forget to act out of our core beliefs, we’ve lost our “why”.
As an author and speaker especially, I’m tempted to do a lot of things because “this is what authors are supposed to do” or “this is how you get more speaking roles” etc. But I DON’T want to achieve greater following and “success” at the EXPENSE of my overall vision and desire to glorify God in everything. For this reason, many authors and speakers will create kind of a “tagline” or “vision statement” that reminds them of who they are and why they serve people. It also helps you say no to things. So it’s less of a “to-do” list, and more of an umbrella under which we still seek God to show us His plan for each day/ activity.
So again for me, I do want to set practical goals and know what I’m moving towards. But more than pinpointing exactly where God is taking me, I want to make sure that all the things I’m currently doing are TRULY grounded in God and a focus on serving others in ways that God has designed me for.
It’s funny- the daily Bible verse on Biblegateway today is Proverbs 19:20-12 which speaks to what you’re saying: “Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise. Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”
I love what you said about living with an open hand and trusting God’s provision and plan. I guess my life coach decision feels like an attempt to be intentional about listening to advice so that I make wise choices even as I surrender, knowing that (like you said so well) God is truly sovereign. We can talk more in person sometime if that helps!
I think that all makes way more sense! I wasn’t so much concerned with the idea of using a life coach as I was with phrases like “Do you know exactly what you need” , and wanting to find your exact purpose or find out exactly where you’re going. To me it sounded like, “ok, I’m ready to sit down and figure out why I’m here and to create a plan to fulfill that.” but l know that’s not what you mean so I thought clarification/discussion would be good. You actually didn’t mention God at all in your post, which may have been totally intentional to apply to everyone, but again to me felt like a easy formula to find purpose and fulfillment, which is not possible without walking it all out day to day with God for a lifetime.. I picture how cute/silly it would seem if our children decided one day they were ready to figure out God’s unique purpose for their lives and how to fulfill that, and I don’t know if it is any less cute/silly for us to think we can do the same. But I totally agree with how you clarified all of that- to think about your “why” so that you can filter your decisions through that and to choose how you spend your time with intentionality and purpose is really important. It’s always tough to enter a new season of life that feels like an open book because there are so many good possibilities out there , and I know having all your kids in school is one of those seasons where the possibilities may seem overwhelming and you don’t want to waste that time or to overcommit yourself .
Anyway… I hope I’m not sounding critical or nitpicky, I just thought the clarification would be good.
Hey Carrye!
I found you on Google earlier this week and then a couple days later saw this post : ) Which made me smile because it’s exactly what I do.. I’m a certified life coach for Christian women (my practice is Grace Space Christian Coaching if you’d like to learn more) <3.
I recently had a client wrap up a package and she shared a few different points about her experience which speak so well to how God used Christian coaching to impact her life . I thought her sweet words may be helpful to share with y'all, too. But before I share, I will add that (just like anything), the experience can look different from coach to coach, so it's definitely important to do your homework when selecting who you work with!
Ok so first, this is what she shared about her experience with Christian coaching (specifically, the changes she's made & most valuable takeaways):
"I have made several changes that have changed my life. First and most importantly, I learned how to put God back in the driver's seat. I learned that time with Him and prioritizing that over other things will always lead to a fuller heart and more energy. I did this by prioritizing my schedule, creating an ideal week, creating accountability networks and making vision statements that were scripture focused. I learned to be confident in saying "no" and choosing what God has put ahead of me, and in this season that was school, time with him, and rest. I learned to implement affirmations and take care of myself, where as before, I was an empty bucket."
And , these are the words she used to describe coaching (which I always love to ask my clients – so helpful to hear it from their perspective!):
"Coaching is truly one of the most Biblical things we could do. It is sort of like motivational discipleship. The focus is learning to glorify God with all that you are, and having someone as great as Aly to come alongside you to do that. Coaching untangles the tangles that may be in your life, using prayer, and effective tools that will provide long lasting results. Coaching is empowerment, through the truth of the Bible. It is a form of mentorship that gives you an extra boost of "you can do this girl!" I have never felt more loved by God than to have the opportunity to go through Christian Lifecoaching. Aly is phenomenal and she will lovingly invest in you to make sure your transformation is important to your heart, your calling, and your life. She asks questions, uses scripture, and gives you an opportunity to map out goals or challenges. Nothing seems too big and scary with coaching and God by your side."
I pray that this helps & sheds light on what Christian coaching can look like. Am more than happy to talk about it further or answer any questions. It can definitely be an enormous blessing that deeply strengthens your relationship with the Lord.
Joyfully in Him,
Alexandra
Alexandra, it’s so great to connect with you and thank you for sharing such a perfect example of how life coaching can impact our lives in practical and spiritual ways. I love the story you shared about your client; what a beautiful example of the fruit of what God is doing through you and your work. I love how she talks about “putting God back in the driver’s seat” (I am forever trying to take back control of that steering wheel!) and how she talks about coaching as “motivational discipleship.”
I made a connection with a Christian coach in Portland, CT, and have my first meeting set up with her next week. But to be honest, before that connection I really had little idea of what a life coach did, and probably believed that life coaches were for OTHER people but not for me. (My reaction to most things that I don’t understand, ha!) And I knew that I could never separate any kind of life council from my walk with God, so I was ecstatic when God brought that connection into my life without me even searching for it.
What area do you work out of? Do you primarily work with those who are local to you? I’d love to connect more and share you with others who may be looking for what you have to offer! Feel free to email at carrye.burr@gmail.com or I’m on Facebook facebook.com/lesstobemore”
Blessings to you and thanks again for shedding light for my readers (and myself!) who may still be in the dark about all that life coaching has to offer.
~Carrye
Keep these Life Coach tips coming Carrye !! Let’s be honest, we all need one at some point in our lives. <3