A Lesson From Leftovers: Taking Ownership of Your Decisions

I have two rules about food:

1. You shouldn’t throw perfectly good food away.
2. You should always throw away food that’s gone bad.

Unfortunately, these two rules come into conflict more often than I care to admit.  I mean, let’s start with the madness of expiration dates.  If my chicken expires May 24th and I cook it at 9pm that evening…whew…it’s safe!  But the morning after the expiration?   I get all kinds of suspicious about that poultry.

And produce is confusing too: at what point has a tomato passed from pleasantly ripe to a breeding ground for gnats?  Is that little brown stuff on cauliflower a mold or has the vegetable gone tanning?

I only add to the ambiguity since I rarely label things.  “So…here’s a bag of opened hot dogs…how long ago did I make hot dogs for the kids?  Probably the last time they had a bath…so…wow…probably really old.”

Some people say, “When in doubt, throw it out!”  Gah! There’s too much guilt involved there.  I might accidentally violate rule #1!  So I’ve invented a new slogan that satisfies both of my rules:

“When in doubt, wait a really long time until there’s mold growing, then throw it out!”  

It’s not quite as catchy.  And truth be told…it’s not a great philosophy to live by if I’m honest.

I started thinking how all the iffy food items sitting in my fridge are like so many decisions waiting to be made in my life.  Sometimes I’m overwhelmed by life’s choices, by the requests people are making of me, or the tasks that need to get done.  Maybe I don’t choose because of my personality, my fear of doing something wrong or letting someone down, or not being confident in who I am and what I need to do in this season.

Maybe you’re facing new decisions about your work, your family, your health or your ministry.  And maybe you just don’t know what to do and you’re feeling stuck.  If so, join me.  Because these are the lessons on decisions I’m learning from my leftovers:

1: Not making a decision is a decision. Putting off a decision for a time can help me make a prayerful, wise decision.  (Not that I recommend praying over whether to ditch your questionable kumquats.)   But putting off a decision indefinitely is simply making a choice without acknowledging it.

Sometimes I choose not to make a decision because I don’t want to let someone down.  If I just hold out the possibility of maybe doing it one day, I feel like I’m not hurting anyone.  The truth is, this hurts both of us more in the long run.

Or maybe I’m afraid that if I say no to something that doesn’t seem to be a fit for me, then somehow I’ll be missing out.  But this brings me to lesson #2:

2: Living With Indecision Clutters Your Life Space  Leftovers in my fridge that are simply sitting there waiting to go bad are taking up lots of valuable space that could be used by good food.  In fact, ambiguous leftovers create confusion and chaos in my fridge.  Some tasty things get lost in the mix of inedible food, I can’t find what I’m looking for, and then there’s that funky odor…

Likewise, when we try to “keep our options open” in life, letting certain decisions hang around indefinitely, our life space is crowded with things that don’t fill us.  We might not see or say yes to better (more fulfilling, more appropriate) opportunities that come up because we’re holding onto the possibility of those things that we know aren’t working.

Deciding to let go of what’s not working might feel scary, but it’s actually freeing you up to do what’s better.

3. Procrastination Is a Decision Too While I put off saying “No” to plenty of things, I also put off saying “Yes” to things that are important.  Craig Groeschel explained in his message “Expanding Your Leadership Capacity” (See Message Notes Here!) that we can’t expand our commitment if we keep telling ourselves that we’re “kind of trying to” do something.  Basically he says if something is important to us we need to stop “trying to do” it, and actually do it.

In different seasons of my life I’ve been “kind of trying to”:

• Exercise and live healthier
• Deal with specific parenting issues
• Confront a friend/family member to work towards a healthier relationship
• Stop spending so much money on coffee
• Pursue my writing/speaking goals

But whenever I’m not taking practical, tangible steps towards those goals, I’m CHOOSING NOT TO GROW in those areas…in other words…I’m becoming stale and shriveled.  (Oddly like my food.)  I can’t reach goals if I’m waiting for them to walk to me.

4.  Indecision Is Often the Inability to Be Honest With Myself  Usually, I’ve made a decision about my food long before I throw it out.  I know in my HEAD that I’m not going to eat that bagged spinach anymore because there’s a slime developing in the bottom of the bag and I’m not about to spend fifteen minutes picking out the few individual spinach pieces that might still taste OK.  At that point, my decision to leave the bag of spinach in the fridge is a decision to lie to myself.  To make myself feel better.  But it’s not helping.

The same is true in life.  Many times I’m asked to do something I know I don’t have the time, resources, or passion for, but I tell myself I might be able to pick through the offer and find something worthwhile and possible there.  Making decisions starts with being honest with myself.

5: Indecision/Procrastination Kill Boldness Throwing away food is small potatoes (embrace the pun) compared to our life decisions.  But the root issues of me hoarding potentially hazardous food are the same issues that keep me stuck in indecision/procrastination.  I’m afraid to make a mistake, I’d rather choose convenience over hard work, or I’m convincing myself I’m actually doing something beneficial.  But if I’m going to live a bold, passionate life, I can’t sit around waiting for all the conditions to be perfect.  Sometimes I have to jump in and expect that it’s going to be messy and I’ll definitely throw out a few things I shouldn’t have.  I’ll probably also eat an occasional fermented fruit in my attempts at bolder decision making.

But I’d rather take ownership of my life and make decisions that leave me bold and free instead of afraid and cluttered.

I don’t know what lesson your food is teaching you, but if you’ve overcome indecision and started living bold and free, please share to encourage the rest of us in our journeys!!