Coffee Snob Level

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I love starbucks coffee.  I used to smell coffee as a kid and wished that it tasted as wonderful as it smelled.  Well, starbucks makes it taste as wonderful as it smells.  Or maybe its an acquired taste- or maybe it is a survival mechanism.  Regardless- even though I love starbucks, I had lately become annoyed with their star point system.  “Buy a coffee with your card, get a star!  Earn enough stars and you will make it to another star level!  Earn even more and get to gold level- which gets you your own flashy card to use.”  Big deal.  Why don’t you give me a discount on coffee instead, and keep your stupid star.

Besides, those “gold card” people have got to be some serious coffee snobs.
Then I recently got an email informing that I was a coffee snob.  Yup.  I scored gold star level.  And the most shameful thing is how quickly I got over the shame of it all.  I’m pretty sure I’ve beyond embraced this coffee level- It has gone to my head- I’ve started to strategize how I can earn more stars- bonus stars- stars on top of stars.
And my birthday hit and my friends and family seem to just want to feed my addiction with more coffee and gift cards.  So even if I’m a monster I’m pretty sure I’m the victim in all this.
Besides, if it weren’t for coffee, where would I be?  I’d probably only have one kid and I would be constantly losing her in laundry piles.  We would spend a fortune in disposable plates, I would stop even my monthly bathroom cleaning, so my bathroom would have given up and turned into a self-sustaining mold eco-system (I’m sure that’s a thing). My husband might come home and have to climb through a window to get to me because of the trash pile in front of the door, only to find that I had never left the bed…and I’m quite certain I wouldn’t have the energy to shave my legs. Plus, I would have no friends, because most of my friendships seem to grow over coffee.  It’s like fertilizer to conversation and feelings of good will, and it smooths out the awkward silences.
Seriously, coffee might have saved my life. And my marriage. And my social life.  It might also be the reason that somedays I think I can handle 7 kids, but it shares the blame squarely with friends of mine who insist on having angelic children all around me.
So if you are feeling overwhelmed- if you are feeling unmotivated, uninspired, unfulfilled- really any of the “uns”… call me up and we can grab a coffee.  Who knows?  Maybe you will soon join me at Starbucks snob level.
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