From Pillow Fort to Insanity in 60 Seconds

At the end of the day I pause to put the cushions back- back on the couch, on the guest bed, on the other couch, sometimes back upstairs.  Apparently a pillow fort cannot be deemed structurally sound unless every available pillow is used.  Don’t take my word for it, I’m 98% sure that’s a direct quote from an upholstery engineer.

Recently the pillow fort was actually a “termite nursery” which my daughter came up with after watching her favorite show, “Wild Kratts”.  So we used toy balls for eggs (which my son said were “so cute”), and had to feed them “junk food that people don’t want” and when I asked my daughter if we should protect the termite eggs from anteaters she said, “No, in this game the anteaters know not to eat the eggs.”  Whew, that is convenient.

Between the toys and the pillow fort-ing I think I’ve only seen my living room floor twice in the 3 years we’ve lived here.

Incidentally, one of those partially clean floor moments was last night when we had a salesperson show us the wonders of her company’s air purifying, dehumidifying/humidifying, vacuuming machine. It was absolutely amazing- it got piles of dirt (and dust mites!) out of my carpet that I did not know were there.  Aaaaand, since I can’t afford the machine, I will have to pretend I still don’t know what ridiculous crud my vacuum is leaving behind.

Then the never ending projects of laundry and dishes.  Just when I fold that last tiny little red shirt and empty sundry and mismatched socks in their respective drawers, I could literally take my empty basket all around the house and fill it with discarded burp clothes, stray children’s clothing items, well used bath towels, and the already growing dirty clothes pile on my bedroom floor.  And washing dishes feels equally pointless.  Is it really necessary to eat three times a day?

I mean, didn’t Einstein say, “Insanity…[is] doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results”?  So here I am picking up forts, vacuuming, doing laundry and dishes somehow convincing myself that this time it might stay done.  Maybe this time I will achieve clean.  Except clean is pretty darn elusive.  Yup.  It’s insanity.

And then I’ve been talking with friends about learning to say no to things.  I recently had to say no to a weekly group meeting that in many ways would have been great for me and my oldest son socially, etc.  But I’ve been realizing that I can only be active in so many groups or communities before they all cease to be productive or meaningful.  I can only sustain so many friendships and relationships, because to work they require an investment of my time and heart.  It is so necessary to say no sometimes, just like it is necessary to keep my ever present to-do list in perspective.  Because if I don’t, it cuts into all the truly meaningful things in my life.

So today I completely overbooked- I had a Drs appointment, followed immediately by good friends visiting, then a visit from our Social Worker, completed by an evening with my husband and more good friends.  But my son woke up feeling possibly sick to his stomach.  Plans halted.  I’m less and less convinced that anything is actually wrong with him, but it was enough to cancel at least the first two plans of the day, and I realized that is exactly what I needed this morning as I was way more overwhelmed by the day than I’d admitted.  So instead I’m letting him watch a movie, I’m catching up on blogging, and currently ignoring the demands of the house.  Insanity?  I think not.